New Proverbs
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
3. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That
way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile way - and barefoot.
4. Going to church doesn't make you a holy person any more than
going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
5. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
6. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
7. A closed mouth gathers no feet.
8. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've
never tried before.
9. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
10. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is
serious.
11. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
12. I have found at my age going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles
out of my face.
13. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government
program.
14. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need
the trip.
15. Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way
again.
16. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so
good.
17. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
18. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
19. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it